Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Stupids Were Out Today

I had nothing scheduled this morning.  I was free to do all the errands which have piled up on the front seat of my car.  SIR has a birthday coming up, and shopping was required.  In the midst of our six week planting season, the garden store beckoned.  I woke up without an alarm or an ache or a pain.

It was shaping up to be a great day. Then, I left the house. 

There was a person in an SUV parked south-facing on the north-driving side of my little road.  There were no blinkers, no turn signals, no indication that she was doing anything but hanging out in exactly the wrong place.  I sighed, and drove by. 

Turning left across six lanes is easy; there's not a lot of traffic on what was once a sleepy two lane road.  This morning, though, every oncoming vehicle seemed determined to travel in the fast lane while proceeding at a lower-than-the-limit rate of speed.  This messes up the flow.  The spaces between blocks of cars are diminished when the stupid takes over.  I sighed, I waited some more, I drove on.

Turns out the Nike Outlet doesn't open until 10; my 9:15 arrival was overly-enthusiastic.  I drove on to the nursery and chose a tall white rose and a bushy cherry red rose and a dozen zinnias, topped it all off with a bag of the appropriate soil, and drove home behind a hundred year old man going 25 in the 45 ... in the lane I needed to make the absurd jug-handle turn into my neighborhood.  I sighed and took my foot off the gas.

Planting left me with only one scraped forearm, a fairly benign morning when dealing with roses.  The soil in the bed I chose for the zinnias has loosened up over the seven years that the yuccas and damianitas have been sending their roots around.  I'd heard of this happening but have never seen it before today. I rocked back on my heels in amazement; my trowel went in easily.  Since most of my yard is dirt, the appearance of what could honestly be called soil was startling and thrilling and gives me great hope for the zinnias.

I showered the plantings off my skin, and TBG and I went out to lunch.  Our usual breakfast place stays open til 2; we decided to try it for lunch.  We were seated in the first booth as soon as we walked in... and then the stupids began, again.  Five minutes before anyone came by.  More minutes before our water.  More minutes before the waitress stopped by to say she'd take our order in a little bit to give the kitchen a break. 

We looked at one another, at our untouched water, at the empty tables surrounding us, at one another, and then we stood up and said goodbye and walked out.  I'm not revealing the name of the place because I want to give them another chance to redeem themselves.  But turning away customers just doesn't make much sense.

Hungry, we drove to our staple, 5 Guys.  Unfortunately, so did the SUV with the Alaska plates which pulled out of the lot right in front of us.  As TBG signaled to change lanes, the SUV pulled in before us.  He tried to turn left at the NO LEFT TURN sign. He turned into the frontage road and then into the parking lot, making a full and complete stop before each maneuver.  There were no signs requiring that stop.  They must have been in his head.

Steam pouring from his ears, TBG let his road rage take over as he zoomed around the back way to the front door of the restaurant.  We had ordered and were enjoying our beverages by the time the Alaskans made their way to the door.

The trip home was uneventful.  The stupids must have been having lunch, too.

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