And then there are those things which just make us nutty. Asiago Bagels are a prime example. Along with Blueberry Bagels, they fly in the face of what makes a bagel a bagel. It's boiled dough with some stuff stuck on the outside..... as long as that stuff is a poppy or sesame seed or an onion. Beyond that, they are some kind of gluten, but they are not bagels. This is Outrage 2.0
And so, today, as TBG began to riff on Hat Discrimination, I took notes. It was classic Outrage 2.0. laughed through every minute of it. The following is his rant, with some of my own embellishments. (If you are sent to Outrage 1.0 after reading any of what follows, you are taking it, and yourself, much too seriously today.)
A stylish woman in a stylish chapeau was sitting two tables over at Wildflower. Behind her was a stylish older cowboy in a stylish cowboy hat. Those two sparked TBG's tirade on Hat Discrimination, starting from the perspective of the hat, itself.
Why did it have so many rules about inside and outside? What did it do to deserve such persecution... and to whom did it do it.... and why did that person get to make all the rules? There are no similar rules about any other article of clothing; why pick on the hat?
Why is it permissible for a woman to keep her hat on her head while dining, when Ms Manners frowns upon men who do the same? Isn't that sexism run amok?
And then, there's religion.
Men must take their hats off in church, but women are required to keep theirs on. That makes no sense at all. Women spend time creating hairdos that can be admired from all sides. Why choose to view a boring, bald pate when you could admire a fashionable fedora? It's a simple matter of what is more interesting. The rules are just wrong.
Unless it's an all or nothing experience.
Observant Jewish men wear a head covering all the time; that, at least, is consistent. The rules for women and other men depend on which piece of Judaism you ask. Most, at some point, want to see a nod in the direction of a yarmulke for both sexes.
What is it with religions and covering the head? Keeping the brains in? Protecting the self from the wrath of God, sent from on-high straight down onto an unprotected noggin?
Young boys can't wear their caps straight any more than they can cover their butts; sideways caps are as disrespectful as sagging jeans. And when did it become appropriate to cover your head but expose your butt as you enter a restaurant?
After a brief detour into the meta - These are some really deep, anthropologically significant insights, y'know - we were brought up short when his mind went to Helmet-less Motorcyclists.
Some things belong in Outrage 1.0 ... and lunch was being served.